You’ve Drowned Your Torch, So I’ll Just Drown Your Cat

It’s a story of love at first sight, or at least by the third drink

You said “You’re a true gentleman” ‘fore you puked in the sink.

You promised you would love me true, that I was your white knight

But now you’re sleepin’ in a different castle every night.

 

You left me several subtle hints that you had finally gone

Like scatterin’ my boxers and my Trojans on the lawn.

It’s a quick trip from “I love you” to “Goodbye, and that’s that.”

It seems to me you’ve drowned your torch, so I’ll just drown your cat.

 

The first night we spent together, hell, it was like a dream

And seein’ you in dawn’s first light didn’t make me scream.

You allowed that you could learn to like me quite a bit

Next mornin’ in my driveway there’s two U-Hauls with your shit.

 

Once I’d put my arms around you and whisper “Mornin, hon.”

Now if I woke up next to you, I’d just reach for my gun.

It’s a quick trip from “I love you” to “Goodbye, and that’s that.”

It seems to me you’ve drowned your torch, so I’ll just drown your cat.

 

It took only a day or two for the cracks to appear

You made some unkind comments about my Ward Burton mirror.

And you told me to turn off Johny Cash after a song or two

The Man in Black’s in Heaven, but there ain’t no room for you.

 

You’ve heard tell of Mr. Krueger from “Nightmare on Elm Street”

Compared to a shrew like you ol’ Freddy’s kinda sweet.

It’s a quick trip from “I love you” to “Goodbye, and that’s that.”

It seems to me you’ve drowned your torch, so I’ll just drown your cat.

 

Now I see you at the Dew Drop Inn with this evening’s Mr. Right

Just one more stupid bastard screwin’ up his life tonight

‘Cause I’m sure the hell you put me through will be on tap for him

I hope that he’ll get over you, and I hope your cat can swim.

 

I ain’t doin’ no name callin, won’t call you “bitch” or “hag”

I’m just carryin ol’ Puss In Boots inside this burlap bag

It’s a quick trip from “I love you” to “Goodbye, and that’s that.”

It seems to me you’ve drowned your torch, so I’ll just drown your cat.

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4 thoughts on “You’ve Drowned Your Torch, So I’ll Just Drown Your Cat

  1. WK, not sure why I never came her before, but I’m here now..

    This is great..so many good lines no need to copy/paste or the coment box would explode..

    But damn Wk, you gotta drown the cat? Ha!

    Great write.
    (ps-you remember me?)

  2. “‘Cause I’m sure the hell you put me through will be on tap for him

    I hope that he’ll get over you, and I hope your cat can swim.” lmao.

    that made my day. and I’m a cat-lover. 🙂

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