(Excerpted from a training video produced by Lorax Consulting, LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Archer Daniels Midland Company)
I am the Lorax, who once spoke for the trees
In the vain hope of bringing progress to its knees
But now I have grown somewhat older and tired
And my outlook and thought process completely rewired
(Sometimes to see the forest, you must clear the trees.)
Examine the case of the Brown Bar-ba-loots
With whom for so long I worked in cahoots.
Could these magnificent creatures truly thrive in the wild
So innocent, trusting, submissive, and mild?
(My former assertions I now strongly refute.)
See how they frolic and scamper in zoos;
How can one watch them and steadfastly refuse
To see how much better their lot is today
As joy for our children as opposed to just prey
(A happy condition where no one can lose.)
“Ah,” scoff the nihilists, “but the Truffula Trees,
Those havens for birds, those homes for the bees.
What do you say now that they are all gone,
Having been laid to waste for some suburban lawn?”
(These angry young men—Lord, take them all please!)
I gently remind them that it’s just nature’s way,
That some species go while other ones stay,
The carrier pigeon’s no longer alive
Yet somehow we manage to live—indeed, thrive!
(In the face of brute logic, they’ve little to say.)
So do not be disheartened or frightened or leery
Of doomsday scenarios outlined by mere theory
Suggesting that our time on this earth may be done;
Consider the caged Bar-ba-loot having fun
(And our data say fish do quite well in Lake Erie.)